I rarely get on the computer anymore.

I have thought, and thought, and thought and this is what I have concluded: That first boy that made you feel like you were on top of the world? Yeah… he’s always gonna hold a weird spot in your heart. A spot that is just his. And even though you two haven’t talked in a good long while, you think about him every now and again. Maybe sometimes you even wonder “What would it be like if you two were togther?” I don’t wanna say it’s love, cause personally; I have no idea how that feels.

I do know that is sucks that they’re still in your heart, and you? You’re most likely out of theirs and have been for a long time. It sucks that they’ve probably 100% moved on, and are with another girl. And it SUCKS that you have to be mature about it, and just be happy that they’re happy. Even if it isn’t with you.

A lot of things urk my buttons, honestly. Way too many to list, but one of them is actually just a question. Many would see it as a very simple question. Me personally, I view it as a “loaded” question. A question we’ve all been asked since we were little. A question that used to seem so much fun to think about, but now it’s one of the main causes of stress over-load.

What do you wanna do with the rest of your life?

Now, maybe you’re nothing like me. Maybe you have your perfect little “future plan” all figured out. But before I carry on, I would like to call your “future plan” a piece of bullshit. (Please, take no offense to this.) But, honestly people, let’s think. How are we going to plan the rest of our lives out? Sure, you can say “I wanna be a vet!” or “I wanna go into cosmetology!” or (my personal favorite) “I am going to become a doctor so I can have a lot of money and support my family.” Don’t get me wrong, those are all fabulous goals, and I respect anyone who has set a goal for themselves. My thing is… what if that doesn’t work out? What if your “future plan” falls short? Then what? What if you get accepted into your dream college, but you decide to party a few nights and forget to do your big assignment and fail? Tell me your back up plan.

There is so much thought that goes into this. It isn’t simple like 1st grade anymore. You can’t just say I’m gonna do this and that’s that. You have to be prepared for whatever happens. I mean, if you set a goal and nothing gets in your way- KUDOS! I have mad respect for you. But if your plan has a bump in the road, then what? There is so much to think about! You can’t just do anything, cause it’s your future we’re talking about here! It’s the rest of your fucking life. No more pip popping, doodle daddling around.

My opinion is, you can’t plan life. Life is gonna do whatever the hell it wants to do. I’m not saying you should go into it with nothing. That’s just crazy. But, you do need to have a plan AND a back up plan AND a back up back up plan. And don’t expect for your life to go just as you planned. The only thing you can expect out of life is taxes, death, and surprises. We’re all gonna be just fine.

(Now, I need to read this… and take me own damn advice :p)